We want to fit in, not be thought too weird, to be loved and accepted which, often, we feel is more available if we’re relatively close to normal.

So, what is normal, anyway?

Is there some statistical analysis we can do on how strong our fear is, how inclined we are to be happy or greedy or utterly miserable to see if we’re outliers or still slipping into that cozy normal den?

Of course, there’s not, but the reason there’s not is pretty interesting. In the way we usually use, seek and assess normal, it’s an act of implicitly considering the current situation with respect to our own personal experiences, to our internal stress, and to a (partly) imagined set of cultural expectations. 

In other words, instead of being in this very moment, we’re off comparing it to something else, something that doesn’t even exist.

From a Buddhist perspective, each moment arises fresh, so there is no concept of normal, there’s just this new moment. Once we start seeing if it’s normal or not, we’ve stopped fully experiencing it, awareness is gone, we force the moment into some category, just as we’ve put our previous experiences into a small set of boxes. Ultimately there are no categories and nothing to compare.

Please Note: 

Some of us aim to be different or eccentric, perhaps even trying to copy those we see as unique, but this is unlikely to change our troubled relation with “normal.” Nor are we firmly on the path if we do whatever we want and assert that it’s freedom, if we’re still in bondage inside. The path towards true freedom lives in the landscape of generosity, kindness, discipline and self-awareness.